Trauma
by AlecCole
Summary: Alec has officially been evicted from the Institute and has been for months now. He is currently living with Magnus when Maryse calls saying that his assistance is needed. Little does he know that he will never come back the same. **Summary sucks, I know. Try it out? Thanks so much! And yes, there will be some smut later on (hence M Rating for later chapters)** No flames please!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! So I know the name says AlecCole, but she is currently on "sick leave" and I (that's me) have taken over. I have yet to come up with a fancy screen name so for now I shall be "TheOtherOne" ;) **think of it as we are sharing the same account only I manage it and the real AlecCole does all the actual writing** This is HER writing and NOT MINE. AlecCole's story, I am just posting what she has already written while she is gone. Let me know how this goes so I can relay please and it would be very appreciated! :) Thanks!**

**This is just a short little bit, but I hope you enjoy it!**

**(Next chapter will be posted very soon)**

_**. Trauma .**_

**. 1 .**

As Alec finished readying himself for battle, Magnus stood watching the young Shadowhunter with worried eyes. He sighed and attempted for the thousandth time, "You don't have to go, you know. You owe them nothing."

Alec cast the warlock a sad sort of look and shook his head. "Mags, they're my family. You know I have to go."

"They threw you out!" Magnus screeched. He moved to his boyfriend's side and wrapped his arms protectively around the boy's waist, holding him close. "Stay. For me."

"Magnus…" Alec breathed as he nuzzled into the familiar crook of Magnus's neck and placed his hands on the warlock's firm, sturdy chest. "What about Izzy? What about Jace?"

"They are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. They've proved it on numerous accounts," Magnus drawled as he leaned his forehead against Alec's. The last thing he needed was for Alexander to go run off back to that horrid Institute where his parents would scrutinize his every move and word. He'd worked so hard to make Alec more comfortable in his own skin and those bloody idiots would just push him back down into the shadow he used to be. Magnus wanted to keep Alec in his arms; he wanted to sleep soundly knowing that his Shadowhunter was at his side. He knew he was being spoiled these past few months, but that didn't make it any easier to let him go—even if it was just for the night. With Shadowhunters you never knew if they'd be coming home, you never knew if they'd ever walk through your doorway again.

Alec pushed against the warlock's chest lightly so he could look up into those green cat eyes. Alec hated the silent plea they gave him and winced. He took a deep breath, "I'm a Shadowhunter, Magnus. Just because my parents refuse me doesn't mean the Clave does…not yet anyways. I hunt demons. They didn't call me for a family reunion; they called me to do my job." Magnus looked away from him, but Alec took his face in his hands and gave him a small smile, "Hey. I'll be back tonight; it isn't like I'm leaving you forever."

The warlock couldn't help the smile on his lips. "And you'd better not ever leave me forever. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I lost you." The smile faded, "Promise me you'll be safe."

"I promise." He leaned up and touched their lips together making the warlock moan quietly in pleasure. But all too soon the Shadowhunter pulled away and when Magnus opened his eyes again he was already standing in the doorway, his bow and quiver on his back, giving him that smile that made his heart break. He gave a small wave and wrapped Magnus's tattered blue scarf around his neck as he walked out into the brisk New York street.

If only what Alec had said had been true. Neither of them, warlock or Shadowhunter, knew that Alexander wouldn't remember any of the words said. Not that night, not the last, and not even the man he loved.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: As promised, here is chapter two! Once again, if possible, let me know how it goes so I can relay! Who knew the hospital would be such a wonderful place for imagination! XD And it always helps to gain some feedback! Lots of Love!**

**. 2 . **

Alec made his way quickly to the Institute, but he found that once he arrived he had no will to go inside. He suddenly wished that he had brought Magnus with him. He hadn't seen his family in months. He could still hear his father's harsh words chasing after him as he was thrown out the Institute doors: _You're no child of mine! You're a disgrace to this family and a disappointment to the Clave! You'll be lucky to keep your Marks a week!_

He took a ragged, deep breath and forced his feet to move towards the doors. He hesitated and decided not to knock. He was a Lightwood nonetheless; he still had rights to the Institute. As Reparations Officer and a Shadowhunter, the Institute would always be his home—even if he didn't live there.

Walking through the now unfamiliar halls, where all the pictures of him or including him no longer resided, he wondered how his family would react to him. He'd been called in to help them fight off a growing group of demons down in Alphabet City, very reluctantly to say the least. It had been his mother, Maryse, who had called.

He was ripped from his thoughts as a familiar voice squealed, "_Alec!_" and he was wrapped fiercely in the arms of his sister. Momentarily caught off guard, he stood frozen stiff for a moment before hesitantly patting her on the back and tightening his own grip on her. "Omigod…I've missed you so much! Mother said you weren't coming, that you'd never show…"

"Well, I'm here," Alec replied with a weak half smile. He took another deep breath, "Where is everyone?"

"In the library," she pulled away unwillingly and bit her lip in her nerves, "Waiting for you."

Alec nodded and they began to walk. Isabelle glanced sideways at her brother with a grim look, "Father isn't happy. Just…Try not to piss him off anymore than he already is?"

"Izzy, my mere presence—my mere _existence_—pisses him off," Alexander replied wryly before passing his sibling and entering the vast library before him. The shelves were overflowing with books and papers strewn over every table. His family sat in a bitter silence except for his parent's low whispering that ceased when Alec neared. Jace leapt from his seat and all but tackled his parabatai. Alec didn't miss the look of disapproval on Robert's face even as he hugged his brother.

Jace held Alec close, finally feeling the ache in his parabatai rune cease. He whispered lowly, "Damn it, Alec, where have you been?"

Alec simply smiled and pulled away, risking a glance at his parents. His mother offered a small look with what was attempting to be a smile. Robert scowled and stood, straightening the shirt he wore. His family was dressed similarly to Alec: ready for battle. He said nothing as he passed Alexander. The family took the silent cue and followed, Alec being last to do so. Jace offered him solace and walked beside him.

They took one car down to Alphabet City. Alec sat in the back between Izzy and Jace while Robert and Maryse sat in front, staring at the road ahead of them in a bitter silence. It seemed like ages before they arrived at their destination. It was an old, abandoned warehouse with the door hanging half off of its hinges. Robert's voice was low when he spoke, "Jace, take your mother around back. Isabelle will go through the front with me. Alexander, you climb up into the rafters and fire off as many arrows as possible."

Alec bit his lip, but held back his anger. _Yes, go up in the rafters so I don't have to see you more than absolutely necessary. _He cleared his throat and put on a brave face, "Then I'll go first. Give me five minutes to get into position and then come in."

Robert gave a stiff nod and Alec avoided the worried eyes of his siblings. But as he climbed out of the car and shut the door, he smiled at them in a reassuring sort of way. Then he turned and took in the building before him and deciding to go around the side in search of an opening other than the front door. He finally came to a halt in the alleyway, spotting a window on the second level of the warehouse. Alexander hoisted himself up onto a dumpster and managed to reach a notch in the bricks so he could pull himself up to the window. There was no glass left; it had all been broken out formerly to his arrival. The warehouse had a balcony around the entire outside of the building and the rafters spread wide across the ceiling. The Shadowhunter kept low while peeking over the balcony's edge. He saw a small group of demons crowding near the center of the building. None were too pretty, but they must've served their purpose of being there. The Glamour hiding them was a very amateur doing despite being concealed in the warehouse at the moment. _Why were they here?_

Alec stepped onto a piece of the old railing that was still standing compared to the fallen parts beside it and hoisted himself onto one of the rafters, straddling it for balance. He made his way carefully and quietly to the center and gripped his bow at the ready. He drew an arrow and pulled back the string, awaiting the arrival of his family. The demons, all six of them, didn't appear to have any weapons, but Alec knew better than to assume. They were speaking in their hissing language that he couldn't understand and he squinted down at the creatures. A movement caught his eye by the door and he drew up the bow, setting his aim for one of the larger demons below him.

The door burst open and he let the arrow fly. It hit home in the demon's throat and it gurgled as blood filled its mouth. He began to fire off arrows like a machine, in very fluid and exact movements. It was as if the bow, the arrows, the quiver—they were all a part of him, connected in some way. Alec had taken out four of the six with Jace close to killing a fifth with some assistance from Isabelle, and his mother and father taking on the last. Alexander drew up another arrow to finish off the demon for his siblings when he was suddenly knocked to the side with such a force that the bow flew from his hands. Alec's fingers snagged a rafter before he fell all the way down to the floor, surely a death sentence from this high up. He dangled in the air above the fighting below and struggled to control his now ragged breathing. Looking up, Alec saw an all too familiar face.

Jonathan Morgenstern stared down at him with a cruel smile plastered on his face. He balanced easily on the thin pieces of wood as he knelt above the Shadowhunter. "Hello, Alexander," he purred. He moved his foot to prod at Alec's already slipping fingers and the boy gasped as he began to slip closer to his death. "My, it's been a while since you and I have lain eyes on each other, no? Rumor has it that you're now residing with the warlock. Magnus Bane? Is that his name?" He toed his other hand making Alec struggle to hold himself up with only one hand for a moment before he was able to regain his grip. Valentine's son laughed, "I never thought you the type to go against the Clave, Alexander. I always pictured you a…naïve little boy," his smile was sadistic, matching his black eyes. "Too bad you have to die. Such a shame. I'm sure your family will miss you greatly, though some more than others…And your poor parabatai. Don't worry, he'll soon have another brother. Believe it or not, I have missed those smartass remarks of his…I think I look forward to hearing them." He winked, "For a little while at least. Then a Silencing Rune will come in handy. Luckily, for you, you won't need one to keep quiet." His boot crushed Alec's fingers, "I'll give Magnus word of your death. My sincerest grievances."

Alexander's cry let loose as he fell, but died abruptly as his body hit the concrete with a sickening thud.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey there! So, this is actually AlecCole and beforehand was my idiotic, account-hacking friend…Sorry bout that…It is true that I have been on a "sick leave" but hopefully now I am back for quite a while. Now since I know none of you really care, we can get down to business. Giving that I didn't plan on posting this story until I had finished my others, I have no idea what I am going to do about that. Until the need presents itself to panic, however, I will be updating this every Sunday. I enjoy reviews, they make me happy and in the end lead to quicker/longer updates so that might be beneficial to you. Let me know what you think and I'll see if you can't get another update before next Sunday. I have thought about updating two chapters at once given they are somewhat shorter chapters, but…I don't know… I hope you enjoy! Thanks again!**

**. 3 .**

Jace's eyes widened at the sight of his parabatai's crumpled body as the blood began to pool around the boy's head. He looked up to the rafters but saw nothing. Had Alec fell? After all the training, all the preparations, all the Runes—and he…_falls_? It made no sense.

"Cover me!" Jace called to Isabelle, who was now finishing off the demon with her whip as it curled around the creature's throat. He took off for the crumpled, broken body of his brother without looking back. He leapt over the body of one demon and skidded to a halt at Alec's side. He carefully rolled the boy onto his back and laid his head on his chest to listen for a heartbeat.

Very faintly, he heard the small sound. _Tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump._ A smile broke out on Jace's lips and he watched closely as his brother's chest rose and fell very slowly and with each breath he struggled to take. Jace gathered the boy in his arms and cradled him against his chest. He'd heard somewhere not to move an unconscious person, but seeing a more prominent threat, he dismissed the thought.

His voice fought over the noise of battle as his family fought on. "We gotta go! Now!"

Surprisingly, it was Maryse who responded and, seeing her eldest son in Jace's arms, she nearly collapsed before she regained her self-control. Her voice broke when she spoke, "Take him to the car!"

Jace nodded once and raced towards the door. He found Isabelle on his heels in the next moment, curling her whip as she ran. They piled into the car, carefully laying Alec's head in his sister's lap. As he climbed in and shut the door, Robert and Maryse came running out of the warehouse wearing panicked looks. Robert started the car and sped away. Not soon after he got back on the road, his eyes searched the rearview mirror for Alec. He glanced at Maryse, who was so close to losing it Jace thought she might faint.

"Call Magnus," he ordered. She struggled to pull out her phone and dial the warlock's number. Robert didn't like the idea, but Magnus was the only one close enough to give Alec any sort of chance at survival.

When Magnus answered the phone, Maryse could barely speak, her tears threatening to flood over. The warlock's voice was edgy and wary. "And what do I owe the _pleasure_ of speaking with you dirty little brats?"

Robert snatched the phone from her hand, his patience wearing thin. "Bane," he hissed. "Don't hang up."

The warlock had to stop himself having already made to hang up on the bastard. Maryse he could handle, but Robert…Robert was when he drew the line. He sighed through gritted teeth, "And just why not?"

"It's Alec," Robert replied in a grim voice. "He doesn't have long."

There was an agonizingly long pause as the shock of the words overwhelmed Magnus. He nearly collapsed and had to grip the kitchen counter for support. _No, no, no, no, no…_

"Magnus?" Robert urged.

Another short pause. "I'll meet you at the Institute."

Then he hung up.

oooOOOooo

Magnus paced impatiently. _What was taking them so long?_ He already had made preparations at the Institute and _still _they had yet to arrive. When he'd heard the words _he doesn't have long_ his heart had stopped. So when they finally came bursting through those goddamned double doors and Magnus first laid eyes on the small, bloody, crumpled form of his lover…he nearly collapsed as he felt his knees give way. But right now Alexander needed him. He had to put his emotions to the side and do what he could for the Shadowhunter before it was too late.

"What happened?" Magnus questioned as Jace carried his brother into the nearest bedroom and lay his brother down on the bed Magnus had prepped. Jace picked up one of the many towels that lay on a table at his side and pressed one to the back of his parabatai's head. Magnus never met anyone's gaze; he was far too busy inspecting Alec. He could obviously see that the blood was coming from Alexander's head, but that didn't mean he didn't have internal bleeding.

Jace spoke up and Magnus was thankful that he didn't have to hear Robert's voice. "He was up in the rafters. Using his bow to take out some demons down in Alphabet City," he swallowed, "I looked over and the next thing I see he's falling. He hit the concrete and…He hasn't moved since…"

"How high up?"

He avoided the warlock's gaze. "Pretty damn high."

Magnus nodded thoughtfully. He took up his seat beside Alexander's limp form. "I work best alone."

"You can't be serious—" Robert began, but quickly stopped himself seeing Magnus focus so intently on his son. He closed his mouth in a thin line and nodded once, wrapping his arm around his wife. "Come on," he said. "Give him room to work."

As the family moved towards the door of the bedroom, Jace lagged behind with his eyes locked on his parabatai before reluctantly following his family towards the door while dragging Izzy with him, who was weeping like her mother. It was not often that Isabelle wept, Magnus knew all too well, but now was not the time to dwell on such a thing. She had a very excellent reason to do so.

Robert cast the warlock one last look, "If you need anything…"

"I won't."

He swallowed uncomfortably, as if he really cared. "We'll be right outside the door in the living room."

With that he shut the door and Magnus set to work, his hands igniting with blue sparks.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: As promised, chapter four! Thank you to all who reviewed, favorited, followed, etc.! I hope you enjoy the chapter! Thanks so much!**

**. 4 .**

When Magnus finally came out of the bedroom, he found Robert pacing near one of the many bookshelves in their grand living room. Maryse and Isabelle sat together on the couch, a box of Kleenex set between them nearly empty. Jace stood alone on the opposite side of the room as if he was trying to distance himself. When the family noticed the warlock entering, they all turned to him with expectant eyes. All except Jace. He remained alone in the corner avoiding Magnus's gaze—though he didn't have to. The warlock kept his eyes locked on the floor at his feet, his fingers lacing together behind his back. His eyes had bags under them and he felt weak from using so much magic, his hair no longer the spikes of perfection, but rather a messy mop that hung in his eyes. He had shed most of the clothing he'd arrived in and now stood barefoot in jeans and an electric blue V-neck.

"Alexander is alive," he answered to the silence. There was a moment of relief before he went on, "He is weak. I have no knowing of when he will wake…if ever…"

"But you just said he was healed—" Maryse interjected in a panicked voice.

He silenced the woman with his gaze. "I said he was alive. I never said he had regained consciousness. He has severe head trauma and is currently in a coma. Some never wake from such a thing." He took a steady breath to calm himself and closed his tired eyes. "He had some internal bleeding, but it is well taken care of as is the gash in the back of his head. There is no way of knowing whether or not there is further damage until he wakes…" He swallowed, trying to work up the courage to go on. "And, I, for one, am exhausted. However, I refuse to leave him in the case that he shows further symptoms of any kind and needs my assistance." Looking at Robert, his voice was hesitant and dreadful, "May I reside here until further notice?"

"By all means," Maryse replied graciously. Robert, however, hesitated before giving a stiff nod.

Magnus nodded and looked at Jace with a puzzled expression. "How do you feel?"

"Terrible," Jace scoffed. "I feel like a part of me is dying."

"A part of you_ is_ dying," Magnus replied somberly. "If you feel any difference in this," he tapped his parabatai rune, "Notify me immediately."

Jace nodded, his hand instinctively rubbing over the rune. Magnus turned to the rest of the Lightwood family and sighed deeply, "I am going to retire now and possibly attempt to sleep. If you somehow find that you require my abilities of any sort other than Alexander, please, don't bother me."

He started for the bedroom once again, but stopped abruptly and spun on his heel to face them once again. "And, for God's sake, if the Clave comes do _not_ let them in my sight."

oooOOOooo

Magnus paced for numerous hours that night. He pondered whether or not to sit in the uncomfortable chair beside the bed or to keep pacing. Though, honestly speaking, there was nothing more that Magnus wanted than to curl up beside his Shadowhunter on the bed.

_Magnus looked away from him, but Alec took his face in his hands and gave him a small smile, "Hey. I'll be back tonight; it isn't like I'm leaving you forever."_

A tear slid down the warlock's face.

_Promise me you'll be safe._

_I promise._

He sank down into a crouch on the floor with his head in his hands as he cried. Magnus wanted to shake him in that moment and scream: _You promised! You promised me you'd stay safe! You promised you wouldn't leave me!_

Giving in to his exhaustion, Magnus knelt on the floor beside the bed that caressed his lover, mocking him by doing what the warlock so desperately wanted. He'd seen people sitting in chairs beside the ones they cared for and every time they did the person seemed to die, to leave them behind. Magnus refused to be left behind.

The boy looked actually somewhat peaceful in the dimly lit room. His hair was soaked with sweat and plastered to his glistening face as his chest rose and fell in a steady but slow…_so slow_…rhythm and his lips were parted slightly. Magnus took his lover's hand and cringed at how cold it was. He had found splinters of wood in his palms and, though they were gone now, he had wondered just how it was that his Shadowhunter—the balanced, forever calm and collected Shadowhunter—fell from the rafters. He'd obviously tried to hold on and prevent the fall, and he knew the boy was capable of doing numerous pull-ups, but why hadn't he been able to at that particular moment when it counted most? Perhaps there wasn't enough time before his momentum tore him from his vantage point...Yes, that was the only thing that made a smidge of sense to Magnus.

"Dearest Shadowhunter, what were you doing?" he whispered, clutching the boy's hand and bringing it up to his lips. "I told you not to go, I _told you_."

"It wasn't his fault," a voice said form behind the warlock.

Magnus didn't even turn. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"You're tired," Robert offered. It hardly seemed like an appropriate excuse. He heard the door close and Robert hesitantly came closer to the pair. His eyes accessed his son and his voice was quiet, "He looks thinner…"

"My apartment hardly has the room for Shadowhunter training."

"Perhaps that's why he fell."

The words stung and Magnus flinched. He looked up at Alec's father, trying to read him. The man's gaze was stone cold as he continued, "I know you plan on taking him away again. By doing so you may in fact just be killing him."

"Are you blaming me for this?"

Robert held the warlock's gaze. "He should never have fallen…"

Magnus stood suddenly and whirled on the man. "_Don't you think I know that?_" he screamed. "Don't you think I've asked myself the same questions you have? Why did he fall? I don't know, Robert, why did he? Was he pushed? Did he jump? Or maybe he just slipped? _I don't know!_" Tears began to fall down his cheeks and he swallowed uncomfortably, his voice quieter now. "Maybe it is my fault. But I never forced him to stay with me, Robert. You pushed him away. He missed his mother, his sister, and his brother. And as much as it kills me, he still missed you. No matter what, Alexander is still your son, Mr. Lightwood. Treat him as such."

Robert stood still as a statue at the end of the bed, his hard gaze on Alec. He took a deep breath. "Everything was fine until you came. Because of you, my son has disgraced himself before the Clave. The only reason he still has his Marks is because the Clave has its priorities. And since you have refused to aid us in the search for Valentine's son—"

"I've told you," Magnus growled, "He cannot be traced. I cannot help you. I prefer not to get involved in the Clave's problems unless absolutely necessary. I hate politics."

"Yet you supposedly love my son…" Mr. Lightwood drawled. He shook his head, clearly giving up trying to convince the warlock of anything he had come for. Instead, he turned his attention back to his son. "When do you expect him to wake?"

"I said I have no knowing of when he'll wake," the warlock replied lowly. "I already told you that…And you, Robert, were the one who requested that such a thing be done to Alexander. You suggested that the Clave take your own son's Marks. No one else."

Robert stood stiffly for a moment before he looked the warlock up and down, accessing him. "You look like shit," he stated.

"Thank you. I really needed someone to point that out." He looked down at Alec once again, "Using all your magic to save a life can do that to you."

Mr. Lightwood swallowed and strode towards the door once again. He hesitated for a moment, but then continued out the door, closing it behind him. Magnus curled up in the chair beside Alexander's bed. It was uncomfortable and cramped, but he made do. Clutching his lover's hand, the warlock fell into a very light sleep.

_I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I lost you._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow, we are already at chapter five! Whoa! Once again, thank you to all of you favoriters, followers, reviewers out there-they are much appreciated! Now, I know you all want some Alec/Magnus fluff and I promise you it will come, but I have to work up to it first and get all angsty and throw in some sexual frustration and drive you all mad first soooo…Hope you enjoy! ;)**

**. 5 .**

When dawn broke Magnus was still asleep beside the bed. His eyes fluttered open groggily and he had to remember that he was in reality. Alec was not curled into his arms, he hadn't come home last night, and he hadn't kissed his boyfriend on the cheek and told him everything was alright like in his dreams.

He was in stupid, fucking reality.

He gasped and jumped up when he noticed a figure on the other side of the bed. In fact the room was full of people—the entire Lightwood family: Jace, Isabelle, Maryse, Robert—even Clary and Simon. Magnus rubbed his tired eyes as he straightened in the chair. "You didn't wake me?"

"You seemed pretty tired," Simon offered when no one else would.

The warlock looked over at his lover. He hadn't moved the entire night. He seemed almost paler in the room with everyone else. Magnus noted that his breathing seemed jumpier and the boy winced and grimaced every so often as if in pain. The warlock frowned at the change. Jace, who sat on the bed next to his parabatai holding his brother's hand in his own, wore the same helpless expression.

"Do you feel something?" Magnus questioned.

Jace shook his head, "I don't know. It fades in and out. He's not gone though. It's…It's almost like he's trying to talk to me. Get me to help him somehow. But I…I can't." He looked at the warlock wearing a pained expression, "Can I? There has to be something besides this waiting…Right?"

"I'm afraid not," he replied grimly. "What you're feeling is Alexander's subconscious."

"What does it mean?"

"It means he's either trying to regain consciousness or…or he's dying," Magnus strained. The man swallowed. "Let's hope for the prior of the two."

Everyone nodded. Maryse spoke next, breaking the grim silence. "He needs to eat something…"

"You can try to feed him soup. Instinct will tell him to swallow. Just be sure there is nothing that he will choke on." With that, Alec's mother left the room. Everyone else followed leaving just Jace, Robert, and Magnus behind with Alec. The warlock rubbed his face again, trying to rub away the fatigue.

Robert glowered down at the warlock. "You need proper rest, Bane. Go home. We can always call if we need your assistance. He's in good hands here."

"I'll stay. If he wakes I want to be here," Magnus replied somberly.

Robert didn't like the answer, but never got to object due to the family's return. They had brought everyone soup and Magnus kindly thanked the mother before taking his and pushing around the contents. Maryse took Jace's place on the bed and Magnus helped the woman lift Alec into an upright position, gladly leaving his bowl behind. He maneuvered so that he held his Shadowhunter while Maryse tenderly allowed the warm liquid to flow into Alec's mouth. For a moment the boy didn't swallow and it scared Magnus to death. Then slowly the Shadowhunter swallowed, his body bucking slightly at the forceful action. The woman was right though: Alexander did need to eat. A strange hope filled Magnus that maybe the action would wake him.

The small twinge of hope died quickly. Alec finished the soup and his chest heaved in a heavy breath as he was allowed to breathe normally again. Magnus didn't want to let him go quite yet so he held him close and pressed his lips into Alec's soft hair. Robert didn't approve and quickly objected saying that Alec should lie down, but the warlock refused to let his Shadowhunter out of his arms. He reclined against the headboard and let his fingers run through Alexander's hair. He allowed himself to close his eyes. If he were dreaming, Alec's fingers would be intertwined with his own and Alec would be nestled against his side curling into the warlock's warmth. But it wasn't a dream. And Alec was dead weight against him and his fingers were cold in Magnus's.

"Could you bring up the duvet? He's cold to the touch," the warlock ran his other hand over Alexander's cheek, but his eyes met Maryse's as he spoke.

Maryse nodded with a small smile on her lips. She lifted the duvet up and covered them. She caressed Alec's face in her hand for a long moment before she smoothed out her dress and cast a look around the room. "We should let them sleep. Come on now, everybody out."

As everyone cleared out of the room, some taking longer than others, Robert cast the warlock one last disapproving look. When the door closed leaving the pair alone, Magnus tightened his grip on his lover and let the tears fall once again.

_Come back to me, Alexander. Please come back._

oooOOOooo

Magnus didn't wake to the morning light flooding through the window. He didn't even wake up to the change in Alexander's breathing. Not even when Alec's hand clutched the fabric of his shirt. As Alec opened his eyes, his vision was foggy and swam together. His head ached and his hand instinctively went to his temple, trying to soothe it with his touch. As it cleared, his eyes danced around the room before him. There were windows that let in the sunlight that was threatening to blind him. There was a connected bathroom, its walls a dark blue from what he could see. There was a dresser beside the closet and a desk in the corner. A chair sat out of place beside the bed he was laying on and he moaned ever so softly as the pounding in his head returned with the movement of simply turning his head to face the other way. He pressed further against the warmth beside him and wanted nothing more than to fall back into unconsciousness. His fingers drifted down to a spot that was warmer than the rest, a spot that was skin instead of fabric. His eyes flashed open and he shoved himself away from the man lying beside him. In his shock, he'd used too much force and he accidentally sent himself rolling off of the bed and his arm connected with the chair sending pain shooting up and down his entire limb. He cried out as he connected with the hard floor causing him to see stars.

The force woke Magnus, but it was the cry that made him jolt upright. His eyes franticly searched for his lover and found him in a crumpled heap on the ground. He leapt from the bed half in glee and half in fear, "Alexander!"

"S-Stay away," the boy gasped as he attempted to drag himself further away from Magnus.

The warlock froze in his awkward position half way still on the bed and the other half on the floor, not wanting to scare the Shadowhunter, but also in bafflement. "Alec," he said in a soft, timid voice, "Shh, baby, stop moving, please…Please…"

"W-Who are you?" Alec asked in a fearful voice, his hand on his head even as he swayed with overwhelming dizziness.

Magnus's heart broke. "Baby…You don't remember me..do you?"

The fragile boy shook his head. He looked very small now, very young and innocent and _very_ scared. Those blue eyes shone up at Magnus like the ocean did the sky. "W-Where..am I?" he asked in a hesitant voice.

Magnus slowly moved and Alec scrambled away from him causing the warlock to freeze and hold up his hands in a surrendering motion. The Shadowhunter's breath was ragged and labored, and he fought to remain conscious. The warlock went on slowly, "You're at the Institute, Alec. Do you remember the Institute?"

"I…I grew up there…In..New York City?" He'd said it so uncertainly that it sounded more like a question.

Magnus nodded. "Yes. Alec, baby, what do you remember?"

He thought a long moment before answering. "Where…Where are my parents? And-And Isabelle…What about her?"

"They're around here somewhere. I'm sure I can go find them, but you have to come lay back down first," Magnus replied. "You hit your head pretty hard, babe. You've been in a coma for the last two days. It's not uncommon for you not to recall everything right away, but…Alec, baby, do you remember me?"

His blue eyes searched Magnus and lingered on those cat eyes for a long moment. "I'm sorry…" he began only to stop short when a tear fell down Magnus's cheek.

The warlock forced a small smile and took a cautious step toward his lover, though his heart was shattered. The boy didn't shy away this time, but he was very hesitant. Magnus bent down to be at eye level with Alexander and gingerly reached for his face. Alec allowed the man to caress his cheek for a moment and his body felt comfortable leaning in to the touch. No, no, it must just be the fatigue he felt. The warlock took up the boy in his arms and held him close. Alec's head swam with the movement despite Magnus's smooth, fluid movements. He laid the Shadowhunter back on the bed and pulled the duvet up to his chest as the boy's eyes fluttered trying to stay open.

"Go back to sleep, babe," Magnus whispered, leaning his forehead against Alec's for a moment before pulling away. Alec was already almost gone again.

He swallowed, "What..What is your name…?"

Magnus froze, and had to fight back tears to answer his love. "My name is Magnus. Magnus Bane."

Alec held his gaze for the last moments of his consciousness before he finally gave in and fell back into oblivion, leaving Magnus Bane to cry alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: No, I did not forget about you guys! Vwala! Chapter Six! Btw, next chapter Alec actually wakes up and gets to chat with Mags and gets a very real reality check ;)**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**. 6 .**

Telling the Lightwood family of Alec's waking proved to be a mistake by the warlock. They refused to leave the room, and that was all Magnus wanted. He wanted to curl up and cry yet he refused to do so in front of Robert's judging eyes. Instead, the warlock curled up in his chair with his knees pulled up to his chest staring at his lover lying on the bed before him. The room was full of tension. It had been six hours since Alec had last awoke. How Alexander had reacted to Magnus had him shaken. He found that his whole heart was swollen with hurt and despair and he couldn't help but dwell on the matter.

Everyone jumped when the home phone rang. Maryse had brought it inside, but Magnus had never asked why. She moved over to the phone and took a deep breath before answering, "Hello, you've reached the New York Institute."

Everyone watched her. A pin could've dropped and everyone would've heard it with the silence surrounding them. Maryse went on, nodding slightly and clutching the phone in both hands, "But…Yes, I understand…Yes…" She looked at Magnus grimly and nodded again, "Yes, he's here now…You want to speak..with Magnus?"

Magnus perked up as she neared him and held out the phone. "It's the Clave. They'd like to speak with you."

Magnus took the phone gingerly and swallowed, taking a deep breath. He closed his eyes and pretended to act nonchalant about the situation despite his nerves and dread. "This is Magnus Bane."

"Hello, Bane," a deep voice replied. Magnus didn't recognize it. "My name is Hodge. I'm on the Counsel and have been chosen to speak for the Clave on this matter."

"What matter? All I've done is heal Alexander. I was not at the battle in which he was harmed; therefore, I have no information worth your time." Magnus spoke with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.

"No, no, I am not speaking on the matter of Alexander or the attack in which this horrific accident occurred. I am speaking on the matter of _you_, Magnus Bane."

Magnus froze. He moved his gaze to Alec, searching for any kind of comfort, his voice now quiet. "Me. Why me?"

"You've aided the Clave—especially the Lightwood family—for a few years now. There are rumors spreading on a warlock rebellion as I'm sure you are well aware of. Not to mention the fact that none of you have offered any assistance in aiding the search for Jonathan Morgenstern. There are also rumors that the warlocks have chosen to side with Jonathan Morgenstern. I cannot help but wonder why you keep your ties with the Clave when you plot to destroy us…"

Anger tainted the warlock's voice. All he'd done is help them and this was how they repaid him? Damned Shadowhunters… "I'm sure you are all well aware of my relations with Alexander. Yes, I hate politics. Yes, I am aware of the rumors. And, yes, I've helped you Shadowhunters these past few years due to my care for Alexander and nothing else. The warlocks grow tired of your constant nagging, therefore, they decline in aiding you. As do I. But as long as Alexander requires me I will keep aiding him and the Clave. You have no power over me, Hodge—you have no power over any warlock—and I recommend that you learn that quickly. My patience wears thin, but the patience of my fellow warlocks wears even thinner."

There was a long pause. "Perhaps we should speak in person. I understand that you're concerned for the welfare of young Alexander Lightwood, but I must know: if he no longer requires you after he wakes, will you remain loyal to the Clave?"

Magnus was quiet a long time. "Alexander will remember me. It may take a little while longer than I'd like, but he will remember me. And until he does, I'm not going anywhere."

The warlock hung up.

Robert shook his head, "You don't just _hang up _on the Clave—"

"Well, I did," Magnus shrugged. "I will not sit here and be ridiculed and humiliated by some member of the Counsel. I have done nothing to deserve that." His hand grasped Alec's and the boy's fingers twitched around Magnus's. "I want to go home. I want to take Alexander home."

"He is home." Robert snarled. "This is his home."

"Before the accident he would've argued otherwise," Magnus erupted. "And you know it, damn it! You know you messed up and now you want to make it disappear. If he can't remember it, why tell him, right?"

Jace moved between the two and put a gentle hand on Magnus's arm, his voice cautious, "Okay, okay. I think that's enough. Everyone is tired and stressed; let's just take a minute to calm down a bit…"

"How dare you say that to me," Robert hissed. "He is my son!"

Magnus fought to get around the Shadowhunter, screaming, "And you screwed up! You made him hate you! You made him feel wrong, like he couldn't be your son if he was gay! And now you regret it. This is not God's way of giving you a second chance, Robert! Your son almost died! He can't remember his own life! He doesn't remember _me_…" The warlock crumpled to the ground, tears streaming down his face. Isabelle went to his side and wrapped him into a hug. Jace looked at his father, who was standing with his hands clenched into fists at his sides watching Magnus weep on the floor before him. He took a slow breath and then moved over to Alec's bedside and stared down at his son.

Jace turned to help Magnus stand, knowing that his father would not reconcile with the warlock. "Come on, Magnus," he whispered. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"No! No, Alec, I have to stay with Alec…" the warlock clawed at Jace's sleeves.

"Okay, okay! We'll just go into the bathroom over there, alright?" Magnus gave a small nod and let Jace practically carry him into the bathroom and sit him on the counter. Isabelle wiped away Magnus's tears while Jace paced the width of the small room.

Isabelle gave the warlock a sad sort of look as she wiped away another tear that slid down his cheek. "I'm sure he'll remember, Magnus. Maybe it'll just take bit of time," she gave a sad smile.

"He remembers you. He asked where you were when he woke up," Magnus said solemnly. "But he didn't remember—well, he didn't _ask_—about Jace."

Jace's hand instinctively went to his parabatai rune. "Maybe I could talk to him…Even if he doesn't remember me he has to feel something, right? Being my parabatai?"

Magnus only shrugged. "It's possible. But he hasn't regained consciousness since the last time and there's no way of knowing when he will wake up again or for how long it will last once he does. I've performed some spells to help with the pain, but…He needs rest."

"So do you," Jace scoffed. "Go sleep in an actual bed. Hell, you can sleep in my room. If anything happens or he wakes up, I'll come get you."

"No. I have to stay—"

"It wasn't a question. Come on, I'll show you there. Izzy, you stay here incase Alec wakes up. Come get us if he does." Jace walked over and took Magnus's arm, leading him out of the bathroom and towards the door.

Magnus fought the whole way and finally tore from Jace's grip, blue sparks igniting his hands. "_Stop!_" he roared. "I will _not _leave him!"

Jace slowly held his hands up in surrender, trying to calm the warlock so that he didn't push him over the edge that he was already toeing. "Okay…Okay…"

Slowly, the blue sparks faded. Racing to Alec's side once again, Magnus knelt by his lover and took his hand in his own very gently despite his ragged breathing. "I can't leave him…I can't…"

Jace knelt down beside him and hesitantly touched his arm. "Magnus, you aren't leaving him. Alec wouldn't like this and you know it. He would want you to take care of yourself. Go shower, sleep for a few hours. Then you can come back in and be with him, alright? It's what Alec would want…"

Jace was right. It was what Alec would want. Magnus knew he was. He could practically see Alec looking at him. His head tilted slightly to the side, his hair falling into his pleading eyes. It was what caused him to nod and allow Jace to lead him out of the room after giving Alexander one last kiss on the cheek and whispering, "I'll be back, love, I promise."

Hearing the door shut behind him when he left the room sounded loud and final, though in reality it was quieter than a whisper in the wind.

oooOOOooo

"I know you're faking, Magnus," Jace said in a low voice. Magnus had showered and was now lying in bed. Jace had refused to leave until he was sure Magnus was asleep.

Magnus flailed for a moment with pure anguish before going still again. He kept his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to see Jace's judging and worried eyes. "I cannot sleep. I haven't slept alone for months. It…It isn't right."

"Having a bed all for yourself? Enjoy it while you can because the second he remembers you, you'll never have a bed to yourself again." The Shadowhunter attempted a smile, but it felt all too troubled and it made him glad Magnus hadn't seen it because he would've seen it as pity. In a way, it was. Magnus had always loved Alexander and he could only imagine how the warlock felt now that his love couldn't even remember his name. "What can I do to help?" he asked.

The warlock laughed, but it sounded strangled and wrong. "Help? You can let me go back to Alec. You can change the past so he never went on the goddamned hunt. I told him not to go. He went for you, you know. 'What about Izzy? What about Jace?' He said it was his job, his duty as a Shadowhunter." He shook his head, "I just wanted him to stay…"

Jace sighed and turned off the lamp at Magnus's side. He moved onto the bed and lay beside the warlock. The movements were awkward and Magnus watched the Shadowhunter, baffled. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Something stupid as always," Jace mumbled settling into his place on top of the covers. "There, now you're sharing the bed. Close your eyes and go to sleep, okay? And if you get touchy I swear on the Angel I will cut off your hands."

For the first time in a while, Magnus smiled. He curled up and closed his eyes with some reluctance and utter defeat. He sighed and took comfort in the weight on the other side of the bed until he finally gave in to the darkness, in to the dreams where he and Alec were back at their apartment and everything was just fine.

_I told you not to go_…


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello, darlings! So in this chapter Alec finally gets to wake up (OMG) and gets a very real reality check with his life when he and Magnus Bane have a chat ;) As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**. 7 .**

When Jace came back into Alec's room, Isabelle was sitting in what was now dubbed as Magnus's chair and Robert stood with Maryse near the window speaking too softly to be heard. Alec laid still and unconscious on the bed. Jace couldn't meet his father's gaze while he walked over to his parabatai's side. He looked down at his brother and shook his head.

Isabelle saw the look and asked in a quiet voice, "How's Magnus?"

"Beat," Jace replied bleakly. "But asleep…Showered and asleep…" Jace shook his head again and brushed his brother's hair out of his face, "He refused to eat, but I figure once Alec wakes up he'll eat with him. He's so tired that he could barely think straight. He's just consumed with Alec."

Isabelle looked down, her fingers drawing lazy circles on Alec's wrists where past runes used to reside and now scars inhabited. "Do you think he'll remember? He said it could be permanent…"

"Doesn't matter. It's Alec," Jace said, "Even if he never remembers, we can help him fit back into his old life. And if he doesn't remember, his body will. It will remember all of the training, the attraction to Bane, the relation to us, the trust he once had. Given enough time I think he'll fall right back into the old Alec. There may have to be some rebuilding, some patience, but in the end he will still be Alec. He'll always be Alec."

They sat there for another hour. Maryse and Robert left the room due to prior loyalties. Jace questioned what loyalties were more important than their own son, but said nothing. Not twenty minutes after the door shut announcing their leave, Alec began to stir. When his blue eyes fluttered open they stared at the ceiling for a long moment before landing on a smiling Isabelle. It took a moment for him to find his voice. It was barely a whisper when he asked, "Izzy?"

She nodded vigorously, "Yah, Alec, it's me. How are you feeling?"

He thought a long moment. He turned to Jace and studied him for a long time, eyeing the way he held his hand. "Who…You look familiar…"

"Jace," the boy offered with a broken smile. "I'm your brother."

Alexander slowly nodded then winced. He brought a shaky hand to his temple, "My head…I hit it…hard…"

"Yah, really hard. It isn't unusual to not remember right away," Isabelle explained in a calm voice. A wave of something crossed over her face, "Do you remember what happened, Alec?"

"N-No…" His eyes lit up suddenly, as if a spark had ignited, "Where is..is Magnus Bane?"

Jace and Izzy met each other's gaze. Jace was the one who spoke first. "Magnus is sleeping. He hadn't left your side since you were brought here, you know. He really cares for you…"

His eyes turned distant. "Why? How do I know him?"

Once again, the siblings exchanged looks not knowing how to answer the question. "Alec, you…I think maybe you should wait to hear it from him, okay?"

He gave a very small nod as if he understood, which he couldn't possibly do. He met Isabelle's gaze, "When will he come back? Is he okay?"

_Even in his state, he was concerned for Magnus_, Jace thought. Isabelle smiled and stroked her older brother's hair, "Yes, he's fine. Better now that you're awake. As soon as he wakes up, he'll be in, okay?"

Alec nodded again. His voice was quiet and a tad rough. "He looked familiar, too…"

"I bet he did," Jace murmured. He sat on the bed beside Alec, "So how do you feel?"

"My head hurts," he admitted. "A lot."

Isabelle gave her brother a small smile, "You should rest."

"I don't want to go back to sleep. It's hard to wake up again," he whispered.

Jace squeezed his hand, but couldn't find the words to say that would comfort his parabatai. It was in that moment that the door opened and Magnus walked through it. When he saw that Alec lay awake, Magnus had to compose himself so that he didn't rush to his lover's side and cause him to black out from panic…_again_. He forced himself to walk slowly over to Alec's side and he knelt down so that he was at eye level. He smiled, tears filling his eyes.

"Hello, Alec," the warlock greeted quietly as Alec's ocean blue eyes ran over Magnus like water over rocks. "Do..Do you remember my name?"

"Magnus," he answered, "Magnus Bane. You were here last time I woke up."

He nodded. "Yes, yes, I was." Magnus swallowed uncomfortably and glanced at Izzy and Jace, "I think I need to talk to Alec alone."

Alec's brow furrowed slightly, but he said nothing. Isabelle made a face and mouthed _now?_ Magnus nodded solemnly, replying, "He deserves to know, doesn't he?"

"Know what?" Alexander asked, clearly confused.

They all exchanged a look and Alec's siblings reluctantly stood, Jace giving Alec's shoulder one last squeeze. Alec's worried eyes met his parabatai's and Jace smiled warmly. "You'll be okay, Alec. You're in good hands, I promise."

"Where are you going?" Alec questioned franticly, his voice hinting at his nerves, and trying to prop himself upright.

Jace gently pushed Alec back down on the bed, letting the pillow caress his head. Alec resisted but Jace easily overpowered him, his hand lingering a moment to prevent any objections. "We'll be right outside. Besides, you need rest. Just…listen to what he has to say, okay?"

Alec nodded warily, his eyes landing on Magnus, who refused to look at the boy. As Jace and Isabelle closed the door behind them Magnus took a deep breath. He still wouldn't meet Alec's questioning stare.

"I know you're confused, and you probably think I'm just some stranger, but…" he frowned, then tried a different beginning, "Alexander, I understand that you must have a lot of questions…About me, about you, about…us…" He swallowed again, the words practically spilling out of his mouth, "Now would be the time to ask…If you want…"

Alec was quiet a long moment and Magnus had to look up after a while to see that he hadn't dozed off. "Say something," Magnus pleaded.

Alec opened his mouth, but his voice was lost. Finding it, Alec found that it was hushed and rough. Nerves maybe? He started off with easier questions. "How exactly did I hit my head?"

"You were with your family out on a hunt down in Alphabet City. You were up in the rafters with your bow and…You must've lost your balance or something because you fell…On the concrete…But, damn it, Alec, you're a Shadowhunter! Shadowhunters have perfect balance! There was no reason for you to have fallen!" He stopped abruptly, composing himself once more. "I'm sorry. I still don't…understand it…You do know what a Shadowhunter is, don't you?"

Alec nodded. He remembered that part. He'd been told he was a Shadowhunter ever since he was born. And, right now, that was serving as Alec's anchor. It was the only thing right now that he _did_ know. Alec swallowed, "So…How exactly do I know you? You healed me, so I assume you're a warlock. I mean, the eyes sort of give it away…"

"Well, um, you live with me, Alec," Magnus answered hesitantly. "We are sort of…dating…"

The warlock watched Alec's reaction carefully as the boy slowly nodded and stared up at the ceiling. "Dating…" Alec tried it out on his own tongue. "I'm dating…you…a warlock…a…_boy_…"

"Yes," he replied warily before mumbling, "Not that your parents approve…"

"I'm gay."

"Yes."

"I'm gay, we're dating, my parents don't approve, I have a _sibling_ I don't remember, I live with you and I can't remember any of my past life because I fell off of some rafters hunting _demons_." Alec took a deep breath. "My life is so fucked up."

"Um…"

He turned to Magnus suddenly making his vision blur, a sudden panic striking him, "What? What else?"

Magnus flinched slightly, but quickly continued. "We've had sex."

That was the wrong thing to say.

**Reviews are heavenly and much appreciated, but I don't want to pressure anyone into it! My friends made a bet on which story (this one and my other) would get more reviews and they conned me into putting this little message here, so…**

**The other story has 57 currently and you are currently at 30, however, this story has 55 followers and the other only has 27. So I suppose we shall see who wins, hm? **

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: He doesn't faint! Ha! Hahahaha HA! Sorry, but a lot of you said he would faint so naturally I had to make sure he didn't ;) Thank you for all of your reviews, they inspire me to keep writing! And hello to all of you new favorites and followers, welcome to the family! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the chapter! **

**. 8 .**

Alec squirmed away from Magnus, who was perched on the bed beside him twiddling his thumbs. Alec was startled and beyond panicked at the words that fell from the warlock's mouth and he flailed as he slipped off of the edge of the bed (it seemed this bed was not at all big enough for a panicked Shadowhunter). Magnus saw the oncoming threat and tried to pull his lover back onto the bed only to go toppling over the edge with him. They landed with Alec trapped beneath Magnus, both boys heaving for breath; one from panic and one from the sudden movements and concern. The blankets wrapped around Alec softened the fall for the boy, but the grimace still crossed his pale face.

"Alec," Magnus cooed, "Please, calm down."

The boy was shaking. "Get off," he whimpered, his vision blurry.

"I can't do that unless I know you won't try to do something stupid that might hurt you."

Alec swallowed just as the door flung open and Jace came crashing through, his eyes wide. When his gaze landed on the couple lying on the floor he calmed from his previous alarm of hearing a loud thump. Jace smirked, closing the door behind him.

"Well, look at you two, already getting back into your regular night activities."

Alec whimpered and struggled beneath the warlock. Magnus frowned, his brow creasing. "Get out, Jace—"

"No! No, please, let him stay," Alexander pleaded desperately. He could hardly look at Magnus, let alone stay in this suddenly too small room all alone with him. The man knew more about Alec than Alec did himself and that unnerved the suffering Shadowhunter.

Jace interrupted the awkward stillness. "So, do I want to know why you're on the floor or…?"

"He fell," Magnus answered in a quiet, defeated voice.

Jace glanced at the warlock's passive face, mumbling, "How far did you get?"

"To the part where I told him we had sex."

Alec whimpered again and writhed under Magnus's broad frame. "Please get off of me…Please…"

Magnus obliged but didn't give the boy much room to move, afraid that he would hurt himself by trying to do something stupid like trying to stand. Jace knelt by his brother and rested a gentle hand on his heaving chest. His voice was soft and quiet, his eyes warm and reassuring, "Shh, just calm down. You're okay. I know it's a lot to handle right now, but just bear with us, okay?"

"It's true…Isn't it…" came Alexander's shaky voice. Jace only nodded.

"Let's get you back in bed, bro," he lifted Alec easily into his arms and moved towards the bed only to have Alec grip his shirt fiercely.

Alec hid his face deep in Jace's chest, his voice now muffled from the fabric. "I don't want to go back to bed."

"Why not?" Jace questioned only to sigh, knowing the answer.

_I don't want to go back to sleep. It's hard to wake up again._

Seeing that Alec was not going to answer, Jace nodded once and tightened his grip on his brother. Alec wore a baggy pair of sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt so Jace deemed him decent enough to go outside of his bedroom. And everyone wanted to see the boy. He looked at Magnus with questioning eyes, "You're probably hungry. We could go down to the kitchen for a bit and grab a bite to eat?"

Magnus bit his lip, unsure of whether or not Alexander was ready to venture from the safety of the bedroom. He knew the boy felt trapped and needed some familiarity, but at the same time all he wanted was to wrap Alec up in his arms and keep him there. Reluctantly, Magnus nodded and Jace gave a brisk smile in his direction, though the warlock didn't see it. He was too far gone.

Jace carried Alec all the way to the kitchen and Magnus followed at his heels. The fragile boy clung to Jace's frame and refused to look back at the warlock who followed. When they entered, everyone stood with wide eyes. Everyone was there, too. Clary, Simon, Robert, Maryse, Isabelle…

Magnus didn't miss the small look of panic in his lover's face. Not to mention the slight flush of embarrassment from being carried bridal style by his parabatai. No one said anything for a long moment.

Finally, Jace cleared his throat softly. "What's for lunch?"

Maryse practically leapt from her chair. "I'll make some soup. You can set him down in that chair over there, Jace." She glanced at Magnus as he moved to stand against the wall near Simon, folding his arms over his chest while he watched Alexander, ready to leap to his rescue at a moment's notice. Maryse tilted her head, giving the warlock a look of pity, "Would you like some?"

"No. Thank you."

The woman made a face, but said nothing and turned back to making her son soup. Jace sat his parabatai down gently in the chair beside Isabelle. Jace clasped onto Alec's shoulder while he swayed from the wave of dizziness that overtook him. Once he was stable enough, Jace released him and sat beside him. Alec nodded once in regards and laid his aching head in his arms on the table. Magnus's heart throbbed and he wanted desperately to comfort the boy, but knew better than to try. He would only frighten him more.

Isabelle leaned towards her brother, her voice a mere whisper while she tenderly touched Alec's arm, "How do you feel?"

Alec simply closed his eyes. He felt queasy and the thought of food made his stomach lurch. Yet he was so happy to be out of that room he didn't dare voice the feeling. He wished he could have an hour of peace without the spiky haired man watching his every move. He needed to think and he found it hard to think of anything when Magnus was around. All his mind dwelled on was Magnus when he was in sight. _Is he watching me, what is he thinking, he's seen everything I have to offer, he's been inside of me, since when have I been gay, since when did I move in with a warlock and leave the Institute? _It was beginning to drive him insane. Even now, his head was spinning.

"Alec?" Isabelle shook her head and glanced helplessly at Jace. Jace only sighed and put a gentle hand on his parabatai's back, rubbing soothing circles. Alec's eyes opened just enough to see that it was indeed Jace's hand before closing them again while he tried to block out Magnus, to forget that he was there, to try and find some peace in his overwhelmed mind.

Maryse brought over a steaming bowl of soup, but Alec pushed it feebly away. She handed another to Magnus, "Eat. You look starved and you'll need your strength."

Magnus wearily took it and gave the woman a quizzical look. "And why is that?"

"The man you spoke to regarding the Clave? He's on his way as we speak. He should be here soon. He claimed he wanted to speak with you," Maryse informed.

Magnus dropped the bowl and it shattered on the floor. His posture had changed drastically as he now stood brisk and his face was hard with anger. He balled his hands into fists, blue sparks escaping through his clutched fingers, and hissed, "When he arrives you can send him straight back to where he came from. I refuse to speak with the Clave."

"Magnus, be reasonable—" Robert began. Magnus's hands ignited with blue sparks and the man shut his mouth. Everyone was now on edge as the warlock's anger flared, including Alec. There were dark circles under Alexander's wide eyes and he swallowed uncomfortably.

The warlock continued to glare at Robert, the sparks flaring with his temper. "I will not be ordered around by the likes of any Shadowhunters or by the Clave. I am a warlock and I will not be controlled like this. Do not push me or I promise you, you will regret it."

"Don't threaten me, Bane," Robert spat. Magnus raised his hand and blue fiery sparks flared a deeper blue, his eyes becoming stony slits.

"Stop!" Alec shakily got to his feet, gripping the table for support, and stood in front of his father. His legs nearly collapsed beneath him with the hurried movements, but he remained standing.

Magnus immediately dropped his hand, the sparks fading. He met Alexander's deep blue eyes and cowered in their wake. His lover's breathing was heavy and raspy, his eyes narrowed in nerves. Magnus dropped his gaze to the floor and took a deep breath. Jace stood and took on Alec's weight, and Alec was so grateful for him that he fell into Jace's strong arms. Jace didn't waste time and scooped him up into his arms once again. Magnus whirled and flung himself out the door and into the hall where he punched the wall with enough force to shatter his hand.

"You have quite a temper," a dark voice spoke.

Magnus reeled around to see a man with broad shoulders and short chopped hair, his dark eyes judging and cruel. His hands were laced behind his back as he took in the scene before him. Magnus touched his now sore knuckles, his voice skeptical, "Who are you?"

"I'm the man you refuse to speak with, Hodge," he replied, a slight hint of humor in his voice. "I've always thought you to be a well tempered warlock, but your tantrum in the past few moments has proven contradictory."

"I don't need your judgment," Magnus growled. "And since you are aware of my refusal to speak with you…_Go away_."

As Magnus spun away from the man to walk away, he froze at his murmured words, "In fact, I've learned many things in what I've witnessed these past few moments."

"Such as?" The warlock glanced over his shoulder at the man.

He gave a small smile, knowing that he'd won. "You'll listen to anything Alexander says. And judging from Alexander's current state of health, you haven't necessarily healed him completely—"

"He's weak; my healing powers cause that and my powers can only heal so much. You should know that as a member of the Clave." Magnus hated the defensive tone in his voice. He couldn't let this stupid representative get to him. He straightened and tried to look proud, confident. "I do not wish to speak with you. Not now, not ever. So I'll be on my way."

Hodge continued to smile at the warlock's back. "Tell me this one thing, Bane. What do you intend to do if he doesn't ever remember the time he spent with you?"

Magnus froze. A long moment of silence passed before he replied solemnly, "I will stay by his side. As always."

**A/N: Soooo next chapter is full of feels and an unexpected turn regarding Alexander ;) And poor Magnus, so stressed and hurt :'( **

**Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Behold, chapter nine! With this chapter, Alec and Magnus take a serious and very major step in their relationship and Magnus gets some renewed hope (Awww!). Hope you all enjoy and thanks to the new favorites, followers, and especially reviewers! I love you all!**

**. 9 .**

Jace held Alec close as everyone stood in silence around them. He had never seen Magnus lose his temper like that—none of them had. And now, listening to the conversation going on in the hallway, Alec was shaking.

"Tell me this one thing, Bane. What do you intend to do if he doesn't ever remember the time he spent with you?"

A long moment of silence passed before Magnus replied solemnly, "I will stay by his side. As always."

Alec's fists closed around Jace's shirt. Jace bit his lip and let the fragile Shadowhunter rest his head on his chest and close his eyes. As footsteps moved away down the hall, another set entered the room. Hodge surveyed the family before clearing his throat and glancing at Robert, "You're very lucky the warlock cares so deeply for your son. I have no doubt if he didn't your son would be dead and so would you."

Robert held his tongue and clenched his jaw. Isabelle stood and quickly left the room murmuring something about checking on Magnus. Hodge paid no mind to her and fixed his gaze onto Alexander, who hadn't even looked at the older man. Hodge made his way over and looked at the boy cowering in his baggy clothes hoping that no one saw him shaking.

"You look unwell," Hodge said. Alec glanced at him from under his long lashes. "Jace, why don't you take him up to his bedroom so he can rest? The rest of you can follow him out. I wish to speak with Robert and Maryse alone."

Jace nodded once but Alec squirmed in his arms. Reluctantly, the brother set him down and held him as his legs trembled until he could stand on his own. Alec's voice rasped, "Wait! What—Where is Magnus?"

"Why," Hodge raised his head as if to aid his superiority, "He was on his way out I believe."

Alec's mouth opened but quickly closed and he stood completely still besides his heaving chest. Then suddenly he was moving. He practically stumbled over as he ran out of the room and down the hall in the direction that Magnus had gone. He faintly heard Jace call after him, and Alec hesitated crumbling against the wall, his head spinning. His entire body felt weak and unstable, especially his head. His vision was blurry and as soon as it cleared Alec got back up to his feet and continued to run down the long hall. He stumbled into the living room and franticly searched for the warlock. Having Magnus nowhere to be found in the room, he whirled around to leave when his head spun and he fell to the floor gasping. He waited for his vision to return and gave himself a chance to catch his breath. He couldn't hear Jace's voice anymore and figured he had let him go or was too busy glaring at his father. _What happened between them?_

Either way, he had decided he liked the blonde boy, Jace. He trusted him and had not failed to notice the parabatai rune that they shared.

Holding his temple in his palm, Alec managed to get to his feet. He slowly made his way out of the room and into a long corridor where at the end the city lights stared back at him. He stopped, breathing raggedly as he took in the silhouette standing before him.

"Magnus?" he asked in a shaky, uncertain voice. Magnus turned and was captured by those blue orbs that reflected his image over a thousand times. He couldn't read the look on his lover's face, but he was concerned with the way the boy swayed.

Magnus took a step towards him, but froze thinking it over. He didn't want to scare Alexander, but then again he was the one who sought out the warlock in the first place, right? The warlock's voice was timid and carefully light, "Alec, what are you doing running around? You should be resting."

"I wanted to find you," he replied shyly. "I…I had to make sure you didn't leave…"

All of the anger in Magnus left in that moment. He smiled warmly at the trembling boy. _His_ trembling boy. "I would never leave you, Alec. I just needed some space..."

Alec was nodding offhandedly in the awkward silence that followed. He closed his eyes and spoke hurriedly, "You call me Alec, but my own father barely calls me that. It was a nickname that Isabelle gave me. Yet,_ you_ call me Alec and…baby…and darling…" He shook his head, "You know more about me than I do and that…unnerves me…I'm sorry about how I've been acting lately and…I'm just not used to the idea of you or…us," he made a face before continuing, "And I just need some time to figure all of that out. But…I don't want you to leave. I don't." Alec met Magnus's teary eyed gaze and sighed, "I need help, Magnus. I need help remembering. And I think the only way for me to remember is if we try to go back to the way things used to be…whatever that is…"

"Are you saying you want to come back home with me, babe?" Magnus asked in a cheerful voice as he tried to suppress his tears.

Alec shrugged slightly. "It might help. Some familiarity from how things were before…you know…" Alec sighed deeply. "Obviously, you and I have history. And it sounds pretty serious from what I've heard, and…I don't want to give up even if I can't remember. I don't want to. So, if I can't remember, teach me. Teach me how to be me again. Because for some weird reason I ran after you—for some reason I am scared of you leaving even when just a moment before I wanted to be alone but then you left and I didn't know where you were and—" He finally took a breath and breathed, "And I was terrified."

Magnus wrapped the fragile, broken boy in his arms and Alec went rigid before relaxing into the warlock and letting him support his weight. Magnus rubbed soothing circles on his back and kissed his hair, whispering, "Shh, babe, shh. I promise I won't ever leave you. I'll take good care of you, okay? Let me take care of you?"

Alec nodded and Magnus scooped him into his arms so that his Shadowhunter could rest his throbbing head against the warlock's chest. Magnus held him close and kissed his hair, letting Alec's scent fill his nose. That reminded him, the boy would need a shower soon, and would most definitely need help in doing so. However, Magnus knew better than to try tonight. Alexander was far too tired for that tonight, but tomorrow before they left the Institute he would clean up the Shadowhunter. Magnus glanced down and saw that Alexander had fallen asleep already and he chuckled quietly to himself.

"Come on, baby," he whispered. "Let's get you to bed."

Magnus laid the boy down gently and brought up the duvet around him, smiling when Alec curled into its warmth. He sat in the chair beside the bed, scooting it as close to the bed as possible so he could reach Alec's hand and wrap his fingers around his own. He was just getting comfortable when the door opened and he heard Jace's surprised, "Oh."

"Shh!" Magnus hissed. "He's asleep."

Jace shook his head, a sad sort of smile forming on his lips. "He ran after you…"

"He did. And he agreed to come back to the apartment with me tomorrow morning."

Jace's smile vanished. "He what?"

"No."

They both turned to see Isabelle standing in the doorway, her face pale. "No," she repeated. "If you take him again, we won't ever see him! You can't take him! He needs us!"

"He needs to remember. And the best way to do that is to go back to the way things were before the accident," Magnus replied somberly. "You're welcome to visit any time, Isabelle. I'm sure he'll want the company. But we have to do what's best for Alec. He was the one who brought up the idea in the first place."

Her lip quivered and a tear fell down her cheek. "Well, maybe he needs his family! After all, he doesn't even _know _you!"

"Izzy," Jace hissed. "That's enough."

She glared and whirled around to leave spitting, "I won't let you take him again."

Jace offered Magnus a sad look and sighed before going after his sister. The warlock turned back to Alexander and kissed his forehead one more time before closing his eyes and letting sleep welcome him into oblivion.

oooOOOooo

When dawn broke Magnus had already packed any belongings Alec may want (he already had everything he owned back at the apartment, after all) and laid out fresh clothes for him to wear. It was nearly nine before the boy woke and Magnus was far past anxious to leave. Alec stirred, his eyes fluttering open and scanning the room once before landing on Magnus.

"Good morning, darling," Magnus whispered. He had to refrain from kissing the Shadowhunter, and instead grinned at the way Alec's hair stuck out in every odd angle as he sat up slowly.

Alec yawned and rubbed at his eyes as he muttered something along the lines of _morning_. Magnus laughed. "We will probably leave soon. I thought we could eat breakfast back at home, so—"

"Home," Alec repeated as if to try it out on his own tongue.

"—after your shower we can hail a cab and get going." The man stood, seeming to have a whole new attitude to him. He seemed undoubtedly happier and anxious to leave, Alec noted as he slowly maneuvered out of bed. "Do you need help?"

"No, I'm fine," the boy muttered before whirling around to face the warlock, "_Wait, what?_ Do I need help with what?"

Magnus gave him a blank look. "Well, showering, of course."

"_What?_" Alec screeched.

The warlock stood and smiled down at the Shadowhunter with a small, knowing smile. "Oh, Alec, calm down. We've had se—"

"Don't. Don't say that."

"Sorry, but...There isn't anything you have that I haven't already seen, babe." He let a hand run down Alec's arm, "And I don't want you to slip and fall."

Alec opened his mouth to object but Magnus was already leading him into the bathroom and turning on the water while Alec picked at the hem of his sweatshirt, watching him. When Magnus began to take off his shirt, Alec jumped away from him, "W—What are you doing?"

"I don't want my clothes to get wet," Magnus offered blankly.

Alec was shaking his head as much as he could allow without growing dizzy and losing his vision. "No, no, no, no, NO. I can shower by myself, thank you."

"Hun, you haven't showered by yourself in—"

Alec covered his hears and closed his eyes screeching, "Gaaahhh—No! No! I don't want to know!"

"Sorry, babe," Magnus smiled thinly, lightly kissing Alec's cheek as he passed. He tried to keep in mind that this was all new to Alec again and forced himself to smile slightly, "I'll be right outside if you need me, kay?"

Alec watched the door close behind the sparkling warlock as he muttered, "Thanks."

oooOOOooo

Magnus was growing worried when an hour had passed and Alexander had yet to appear from the bathroom. He could faintly hear the shower running as he pressed his ear against the door. "Alec, baby?" he called, "Are you okay?"

"Fine! Be out in a sec!" There was a hint of annoyance in the Shadowhunter's voice, but Magnus dismissed it as he sat back on the end of the bed and waited. It had been the fifth time he'd called for his Shadowhunter…

Magnus was itching to leave. The Institute was beginning to make him jumpy and he found himself always on edge. Especially knowing that Hodge—a Representative of the Clave—was residing here for God knows how long to keep an eye on _him_. The Clave always made Magnus nervous; they were a very impulsive and irrational force to reckon with. The last thing he wanted was to get on their bad side—especially since he was already on their list to keep a close eye on. All the warlock wanted was to take Alec home and let things go back to normal. He missed _his _Alec, the one who remembered him and the first time they met, the first time they kissed, the love they shared…He wanted his boyfriend—potential _fiancé_—to remember him, the moments they've shared.

"What are you thinking about?"

Magnus practically leapt out of his skin. Alec may have hit his head, but that didn't mean he lost all of his Shadowhunter skills. Magnus met Alexander's curious blue eyes and saw that his lover was now dressed in the dark faded jeans Magnus had left him, but the shirt he'd chosen was now hidden under a black sweatshirt in which he kept his hands in the front pocket. Magnus noted how sexy he looked with his hair wet and his cheeks flushed a light red from the steam in his shower.

Magnus shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "What did you say, dear?"

"You were staring off into space," Alec replied with a small shrug, "I asked what you were thinking about."

"Oh," the warlock licked his lips. He smiled at his Shadowhunter, "Nothing. I was just thinking about what we should do once we get home is all."

Alexander nodded once, his look still wary of the other man's answer. He kept his hands in his pockets to cover up their trembling. Words could not describe how uneasy he was about going _home_. He swallowed as he noticed the already packed backpack waiting for him by the door. "Are we leaving soon?"

"Yes," Magnus jumped to his feet with a grin consuming his face. "In fact, I'll go send for a cab. Why don't you go down to the kitchen and say goodbye, alright?"

Alec's face fell. He didn't want to say goodbye to his family—to the only people he really _knew_. Magnus realized that _goodbye_ may not have been the best word to use and rephrased the sentence, "How about you ask them to breakfast at Taki's in the morning while you're there?"

"Okay," Alec nodded, a small, wavering smile appearing on his face. It didn't last long.

Magnus walked Alec down to the kitchen before going to hail a cab and leaving him standing alone before his family with the backpack slung over his shoulder. Alexander couldn't meet the grim eyes of his sister or parents, so he kept his eyes fixed on Jace. He swallowed, "I guess we're leaving soon. But, he said we were going out to breakfast in the morning at Tiki's—"

Jace laughed, "I think you mean Taki's. And, yah, that sounds great. We'll see you then, yah?"

Alec nodded and Jace wrapped his parabatai into a hug and patted his back before letting go. Maryse was next to hug him, gently, as if he'd break. Robert nodded in regards and Alec did the same. Isabelle moved to stand before him, her eyes stained red from crying.

"Promise you'll come back and visit," she said.

Alec nodded, "I promise."

She threw her arms around his neck and Alec welcomed his little sister into his arms. When Magnus arrived back in the doorway, the two were still hugging. The warlock smiled awkwardly, "The cab is here. We'd better get going."

Alec nodded, pulling away from his sister and putting on a brave smile. However, when he turned and began to follow Magnus out, his smile faltered and he stuffed his hands back into his pockets as they began to tremble again. He didn't even know where _home _was, and he had no idea what to expect. He was only on the front steps and he already longed for his family back at his side. He didn't fear the warlock, but he didn't quite enjoy his presence yet either. He just wanted him around and he couldn't even say why.

He took a deep breath, steadying himself as he stared at the yellow cab before him waiting at the curb to take him home. _Home…_

"Babe?" Magnus questioned, eyeing his lover with concern. The boy had stopped on the sidewalk, his blue eyes consumed with fear. "Are you okay?"

Alec took another shaky breath and nodded once, composing himself. "Yah. Fine."

And then they climbed into the cab and Alec watched the Institute disappear through the window, seemingly trapping him in his old, yet overwhelmingly unknown, life.

**A/N: Coming Soon: Alec gets to see where he's been living in his old memories and a few more 'Awww!' moments! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This week's chapter features Alexander's coming "home" (Awwww!). Thanks to everyone for reading—especially all of you followers, favs, and reviewers (reviews are much appreciated and keep me writing speedy quick!)—and I hope you enjoy!**

**. 10 .**

Magnus couldn't help but eagerly lead Alexander out of the cab and in front of their apartment. He retrieved Alec's backpack and watched with a small smile as Alec took in the sight before him on the busy sidewalk. His face was passive and calculating, as if he recognized the place but couldn't remember how or why. Magnus gingerly took a hold of his slender wrist, "Shall we?"

Alec tensed at the touch but nodded once in return. He followed Magnus closely up the stairs and to the front door where he watched Magnus turn the key in the lock and smile back at him.

"Welcome home," he said as he let the door swing open to reveal what was held within. Magnus couldn't look away as his eyes raked over every detail of Alec. The way he took a deep breath before stepping inside and letting the door fall shut behind him, the way his eyes scanned over every object in the room, especially the numerous photos of he and the warlock, and the way his eyes warily flitted over to him before hastily looking away as if he were a child getting caught stealing another cookie. Alec ran his hand over the back of the couch, wandering into the kitchen and then taking a peek into the bathroom before freezing before their bedroom door. Magnus had been trailing him the entire way and finally spoke up when Alec made no move to open the door. "You can open it," he said reassuringly.

Alec cast him a cautious glance over his shoulder and took another deep breath before turning the knob and pushing open the door. He took in the colorful bedroom and took his time looking over its contents, freezing at Magnus's favorite picture. It was fall and the pair was sitting in Central Park, Alec sporting Magnus's blue scarf for the first time that would later on lead to many, many more outings in the accessory. They were both smiling and Magnus was kissing Alec's cheek flirtingly. It was obvious Magnus was taking the picture, like many others in the apartment, but this one made Alec's stomach drop. If the others hadn't convinced him that everything the warlock had said was true about them, there were no doubts about it now. Alec swallowed before moving on.

He investigated the bathroom, he maneuvered his way over to the closet where he opened the large doors and his breath hitched at the sight of both he and Magnus's clothes. They were starkly different selections for each boy; Alec's being more sweatshirts, black, and loose fitting while Magnus's were full of color and clung to the boy's skin, not to mention the more than significant number of them. He said nothing and moved to the bed. He ran his hand over the soft duvet before falling unceremoniously onto the mattress and staring at the ceiling.

Magnus set the backpack down by the door and lay beside his lover on the bed, earning an apprehensive, but weary look from his Shadowhunter. Magnus restrained himself from taking hold of Alexander's hand and sighed contently. It felt so nice to finally be home again…

"This is our room," Alec said, but the tone suggested a question.

Magnus nodded, "It is."

"There's only one bed."

Magnus laughed. And here he'd thought he had taken all of Alexander's innocence. How naïve the boy still really was! "Yes," he replied, "This is our bed. You sleep on the left side."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Magnus shrugged. "But you always have. I used to think it was so if the need presented itself you could easily reach your weapon."

He nodded. A moment passed of silence before he spoke again, "Why do I live here and not at the Institute?"

Magnus knew he would ask. The warlock would not lie to Alexander and knew he would have to find out sometime. He thought over his response before sighing, "Your father kicked you out. He said he couldn't handle seeing you walk through the halls of his house. That you were a disgrace to his family."

Alec didn't move for a long moment. Magnus propped himself up on his elbow to look at the boy. "Alec? Please say something, darling…"

"What am I supposed to say?" he asked. His tone was not harsh, but instead hurt and vulnerable. "I can't change his opinion."

Magnus pulled him into a tight hug and, surprisingly, Alexander let him. "You aren't supposed to say anything," Magnus concluded. He took comfort in his closeness until he knew that Alexander was growing uncomfortable, and then he slowly sat back. He saw the dark circles under Alexander's eyes and a pang of pity hit his side. He had to be exhausted, and undoubtedly overwhelmed. "You look tired," he said.

A small smile tugged at Alexander's lips. "Is it that obvious?"

Magnus smiled back at him warmly, lovingly. "You have every right to be exhausted, love. We could take a nap if you want? Sleep wouldn't hurt me any. My magic is still depleted from healing you and I'm sure it wouldn't object to a day's rest."

Alec eyed the bed he was lying on and swallowed uncomfortably before nodding. He crawled deliberately onto the left side making Magnus chuckle softly before curling up under the covers and closing his eyes. Magnus curled up so that his chest was against the boy's back and wrapped his arms loosely around Alexander's slim form. He felt Alec tense as he felt the warlock's hot breath against his neck. Magnus raised a brow in question, knowing this was probably pushing it a little far. "Is this alright?" he questioned.

Alexander only nodded. He was trying to understand all of this still, but he knew how much Magnus was suffering, and so he was trying. Magnus began to rub soft, small, soothing circles onto Alec's arms, neck, and back. It took a while for him to relax against the warlock, but once he gave in it only took a moment for him to fade into the darkness and allow Magnus an opportunity to hold his Shadowhunter even closer.

oooOOOooo

Magnus was the first to wake. It was late evening, around seven to be exact. He didn't dare move as not to disturb his sleeping Shadowhunter. He held Alexander in his arms and kissed the back of his neck gently. He felt his even breathing beneath his palm, and brushed Alec's hair away from his closed eyes. Magnus felt his own desire rise, but quickly shoved it back down again. He couldn't afford to lose Alexander when he had already come so far with him. Somewhere deep in Alec's subconscious he remembered. Magnus just had to dig deep enough to bring it to the surface.

The warlock flinched slightly at the familiar sound of Alexander's cellphone buzzing on the nightstand. His glare alone was enough to silence it. How much he hated that phone…It could not be described in words. Especially now. Alec needed rest and he needed time. Them calling and messaging him every moment of the day would not help him.

Magnus continued to lay beside Alexander for another hour before he felt the boy stir and heard his breathing change. Magnus waited and, as he'd suspected, Alec's body tensed when he remembered, felt Magnus's touch, his arms around his waist. Magnus was glad that his back was to him so that Alec couldn't see the frown on his face. He hated that he cringed at his every touch, that he was so tense all the time. He just wanted him to relax and be happy again…He just wanted him to remember…

Alec didn't move, unsure of what to do in his predicament. Magnus sighed, reluctant to ruin the moment but knowing he had to break it at some point. "You slept a long time," he said.

Alec attempted to shift, and Magnus found that he was releasing the boy from his grasp and watching him sit up, only swaying slightly. His shirt was hiked up revealing his gaunt hips and Magnus's heart fluttered. He missed the feeling of Alexander's skin under his fingertips, the way his head would tip back in ecstasy as Magnus's lips brushed over his neck and collarbone.

Shaking his head, he noticed Alec checking his phone. His fingers moved nervously and slowly across the keypad as he replied to undoubtedly one of Isabelle's numerous messages. Angel, did the woman think he was murdering him? Holding him hostage? Magnus rolled his eyes.

"Izzy wants to stop by. She said she would bring dinner," Alec said in a quiet voice.

Magnus tried his best to hide the spark of anger. He knew he was being selfish, but what gave these people the right to suddenly come back into his life after abandoning him the way that they did? Why did they get a second chance and Magnus got thrown aside like a whisper in the wind? It wasn't fair!

It was never fair…

"I was actually going to make dinner. I thought maybe we could go through some photos or something, maybe help your memory." Magnus replied. He saw Alec's face fall and quickly added," You'll see her tomorrow for breakfast, remember?"

He nodded and set his phone aside. He ran a hand through his hair before falling back onto his pillow once again, a small sigh escaping his lips. "I'm still so tired…"

"You can sleep as soon as you finish your dinner," Magnus smiled. His Shadowhunter resembled an angel more than a warrior in his opinion, but he would never tell him that. Magnus knew that as a Shadowhunter Alec had a sense of pride and it was never his intention to damage it in any way. Getting to his feet, Magnus moved over to the other side of the bed and scooped Alec up in his arms causing a startled yelp to escape Alexander's lips, his arms clinging to the warlock in fear of falling. Magnus carried him out into the kitchen and sat him down on one of the barstools by the island. He smirked at the very prominent blush that was spread across Alexander's cheeks.

As Magnus moved about in the kitchen preparing their meal, Alec began to pick at his oversized sweatshirt before giving up and resting his head on his arms on the island. Magnus smirked and watched over his shoulder as his angel slowly drifted off into sleep once again.

oooOOOooo

Jace stood just where his parabatai had fallen in the old abandoned warehouse. It just didn't make sense. Alec was a very balanced, well trained warrior. He had fired off arrows from the rafters over a thousand times and never once had he fallen. So why would he now?

He bent and took up the still intact, dusty bow. Like its holder, it had fallen and suffered as well. Jace squeezed it and put it over his shoulder to take back to his parabatai. Maybe it would spark something…_anything_…

Looking up at the rafters, he could see no damage and no signs of one breaking or giving to Alec's weight. He shook his head and decided to get a better look form above. Once he was on the rafters just above where Alec had hit the pavement—he shuddered from the memory, hearing the _thud _that had followed—he inspected the beams. None had any damage and he could see where Alec's nails had clawed at the beam in an attempt to catch himself.

Jumping was out of the picture, though Jace had never suspected Alec to attempt suicide.

Looking further, he could see the dirt from Alec's shoes on the wood very faintly. He traced them all the way to the spot where he'd fallen and then stopped. He saw another, much larger set of footprints going the opposite direction of where Alec had come from. Alec had fallen, he couldn't have kept on walking. Jace followed the footprints all the way out into a shadowed alleyway.

Alec hadn't been alone on the rafters that day.

Now the only question was who had been up there with him.

**A/N: Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnn! See you all next Sunday!**

**Also, Katrina, I have been trying to get a hold of you but nothing seems to be going through (you know how much I hate technology sometimes ;) Hopefully I will talk to you soon! Miss you!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: What's this? An early chapter? Oh! It must be your lucky day! Thanks to all of you reviewers and favorites and followers as always and I hope you enjoy this chapter (tis one of my favorites!) **

**. 11 .**

Dinner had been one of the most awkward situations Alec had ever been in, he'd decided. He had been rudely awoken by the sweet aroma of whatever soup Magnus had conjured up and listened through the entire meal about how Magnus was dying to go shopping again and how he was pondering changing the color scheme of _their _apartment, how Alec needed a new wardrobe so he would "stop drowning in those baggy sweatshirts" and "get some clothes that fit his _style_." Alec didn't even know what his _style_ was. Once he had made it halfway through his bowl of soup and deemed it good enough, he finally spoke, interrupting the warlock midsentence.

"I think I'm going to go to bed," he said.

Magnus stopped, taken aback by the small voice. He immediately set down his spoon and stood as Alexander did the same. He rushed to his Shadowhunter's side to aid him, but the boy waived a hand dismissively at him and shook his head slightly with a small wince.

"I'm fine," Alec said. "I'm just tired."

The warlock frowned. He had expected Alec to be exhausted, but it was worrying him. Sighing, he wetted his lips before saying, "I understand. Why don't I clean up and then we can turn in for the night? Besides, we have breakfast at Taki's tomorrow with your family…"

Alexander said nothing, but made his way silently to the bedroom once again.

oooOOOooo

Jace entered the Institute in a dead sprint, the rainwater dripping off of his skin. He ran into the library where the rest of his family resided. He set the bow on the table with a thud and stood tall.

"He wasn't alone."

Robert's eyes narrowed as he peered over his glasses, book still in hand. "What are you raging about now, Jace?"

Jace glared ferociously at him, his hands curling into fists. "He wasn't alone in the rafters. Someone else was up there with him."

"What are you saying?" Maryse questioned.

Isabelle stood and moved in front of Jace, her eyes clear and unblinking. "Jace…"

"I think he was attacked, pushed. Someone caught him off guard."

"Who would be up there in the rafters, Jace? It was probably another demon that saw him and decided to extinguish the threat," Robert answered nonchalantly. "Let's not fuss about what has already happened. The past is the past and we can only move forward."

Jace slammed his fist on the table. "_Don't you get it?_ He was attacked! There were footprints leading both to him and away from where he fell. Someone pushed Alec off of those rafters. It only makes sense that it would be another Shadowhunter! No human could see us nor would they be in that old warehouse! Besides, Alec would have heard them! This person would had to have been very quiet and exquisitely trained…"

Isabelle's eyes widened in realization.

"Get to the point, Jace," Maryse said solemnly.

"I think Jonathan Morgenstern is in New York," he said, "It makes sense that he would try to kill Alec. He tried to make me his brother last time, why would he want me to already have a parabatai? It makes sense for him to want Alec dead, out of the way. And I don't think he is going to rest until he is just that. Dead."

Isabelle whipped out her phone, "We have to tell Magnus. He has to bring Alec back to the Institute, it's the only place Alec will be safe—"

"No, tell him to keep Alec there. Magnus has wards on his apartment and the Angel knows he would never let Alec be harmed under his care. Call him and let him know. Until we know for sure that Alec is safe he needs to stay either with Magnus or here."

Robert stood and moved for the door, "I'll contact the Clave."

"If this is true and Jonathan Morgenstern is in New York," Maryse stated, "Then I want the both of you to remain here. I want to know your whereabouts at all times." She glared at Jace and wagged a finger in his face, "And _no_ exceptions!"

Jace rolled his eyes in annoyance as Maryse followed her husband out the door. As it banged closed Isabelle sighed, "You're going out, aren't you?"

"Not tonight," Jace replied. "But soon. No one who hurts my parabatai just walks away."

Isabelle smiled, taking up her brother's bow. "Well, you can't fight the demon alone, now can you? What's the plan?"

Jace grinned and sighed. "First we call Magnus."

"And then?"

Smirking, Jace shook his head. "Alec. He's still a Shadowhunter. We have to at least show him how to protect himself incase worse comes to worse when we go."

"Agreed. I'll call Magnus."

"Yah," Jace sighed, moving his gaze to the droplets hitting the glass of the window. "Who knows when Jonathan will strike again…Maybe we'll get lucky and he doesn't know that Alec is still alive…"

Isabelle frowned and squeezed her adoptive brother's shoulder, "You and I both know that isn't true, Jace."

"I can hope, can't I? I don't know what I'd do if I lost Alec. It hurt too bad when he was in a coma…I can't imagine what it feels like when he's really gone."

A wince passed over the Shadowhunter's face at the mere thought.

oooOOOooo

Magnus hastily cleaned up and had to restrain from running back into the bedroom. He heard both his phone and Alexander's buzzing but dismissed it easily. Alexander needed his attention now and that was more important than answering a phone call from the Shadowhunters at the moment.

When he walked through the doorway, all of the lights were already off and Alexander was tucked in bed. Magnus stood still a long moment simply watching his lover. Sighing softly, he undressed and reluctantly pulled on some of the sweatpants he had took from Alec's side of the closet. Looking at Alexander, he held back tears as he resigned to sleep on the couch for the night. Grasping the doorknob of the door to close behind him, he froze as the small, sleepy voice came again.

"Where are you going?"

Magnus turned to see Alexander propped on his elbows watching him with wide eyes that showed the fear he would never admit. Magnus gave a small smile, "It's alright, angel. I'm just going to be out on the couch."

"Oh…" He swallowed nervously and refused to meet Magnus's gaze, "I just thought that…maybe…maybe you could, um…sleep in…here…with me…"

Leaving the door open, Magnus returned to the bed—on the right side—and maneuvered himself under the duvet with Alexander. He lay close enough to feel his warmth, but not close enough to startle the Shadowhunter. Alec faced away from Magnus, but his small voice reached his ears as if it were thunder in a storm.

"I like that one."

"Which one?" the warlock whispered to the dark.

"The nickname. I like that one."

Magnus smiled to himself and let a silent tear slip down his cheek. "Go to sleep, angel. I'll be here when you wake."

**A/N: Awwwww! Thanks for reading! Please review? **

**May post another chapter tomorrow…not definite yet…but possibly.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Here you are, all my lovelies! Another chapter! Look at that! Two in one weekend! :D As always thank you to all you reviewers, favorites, and followers! They keep me writing!**

**Now, in this chapter Magnus and Alec have a movie day, Jace and Izzy stop by, and Alec gets a bit more than he bargained for with his parabatai…**

**. 12 .**

Magnus continued to watch as Alexander slept well into the morning hours. Even when the light shined through the curtains and touched his fair skin, the Shadowhunter did not stir. Magnus was becoming very wary of Alexander's condition and feared if his memory would ever return. From his place in bed beside Alec, he could hear his phone going off. It continued to until after an hour of it Magnus finally maneuvered out of bed, careful as to not disturb his sleeping angel, and went to retrieve the damned device.

He answered on the second to last ring with an angry, irritated but hushed tone, "By the Angel, Isabelle, what is it now? One hundred and twenty two missed calls and three hundred messages? What could possibly be so important?"

"Magnus—"

"Alexander is sleeping. He is fine and does not need to be bothered with any Shadowhunter nonsense at the moment. He has enough to deal with right now without—"

"_Magnus fucking Bane! Shut up and listen to me, damn it!_"

Magnus flinched and hastily walked away from the bedroom door in fear that Alec would wake from the shouting emitting from his palm. However, he did not say another word and let the girl speak.

Her voice was taught and low, almost venomous. "Alec wasn't alone up in those rafters the day he fell. Someone else was with him and we are nearly certain that Alec didn't just fall. It doesn't make any sense. We think…well, we think that Jonathan Morgenstern was the one who pushed Alec that day."

Magnus's breath caught in his throat.

"We think he is still after Alec. You have the wards up on your apartment, right?"

Magnus nodded, "Yes. I'll put up some more just to be sure."

"Good. Jace and I are going to try and find out more about Jonathan's location tonight. You just keep Alec there and safe until we do, alright?"

"With my life," Magnus replied solemnly. "So I take it no Taki's?"

She chuckled lightly, "I'm afraid we will have to reschedule."

Magnus gave a small smile, "Call me when you know something."

"I will. Jace wants to stop by later today. He wants to see if he can jog Alec's memory by bringing him his bow."

Magnus nodded to himself, "Alright. I'll see you soon."

"Do be careful…Keep Alec safe…"

"I will," he answered before hanging up the phone and setting it on the counter. He ran his hands down his face with a sigh before running them through his hair. "Damn it, damn it, _damn it_!" he whispered.

"Is something wrong?"

The warlock whirled and smiled brightly at the Shadowhunter, who was toeing the kitchen from the hallway, looking up at him with wide, weary eyes.

"No, no, not at all!" he replied smoothly. The last thing Alexander needed was to worry about something else, especially something he had no recollection of ever existing.

He cast his gaze to the floor and nervously rubbed his forearm, biting his lip before looking up through his dark lashes again. "It was Isabelle…Wasn't it?"

"Yes. They had to cancel breakfast at Taki's. Don't worry, we'll reschedule. I promise. Something just…came up," he shrugged pathetically. "Besides, it wouldn't do any harm for you to rest a day on the couch, no?"

Alexander's face fell. "I understand…"

"Alec," Magnus cringed. "I…"

"I said I understand," the Shadowhunter replied grimly. "Not everybody has the time to deal with me. That's how it always was and that's how it still is. I get it. It's nothing new."

Magnus's heart ached. "Babe, you know that isn't true—"

Alexander held the warlock's gaze defiantly, "Isn't it?"

"No, it's not."

"Well not for you; you're a warlock. You don't have to do anything compared to Shadowhunters!" he screamed, "I should be out there with them! I'm the older brother, the first son! I shouldn't be here with you, I should be out there, with them, fighting! Why did this have to happen, Magnus? _Why?_"

Magnus slowly moved to stand before his warrior, watching painfully as his eyes filled with unshed tears. He brought up his hand to caress his Alexander's cheek, his voice soft, "I know, angel. I know it's hard right now, but it will get better. I promise."

Alexander's eyes shone. "Why is it every time you use that nickname I feel like it's somehow right? Like this is actually normal…"

"Alec, nothing is ever normal in our lives. You should know that by now," Magnus tugged playfully on a strand of the Shadowhunter's hair, smiling. When his love only nodded and leaned more heavily into his hand, he sighed. "Life is a test of patience. Just because something isn't happening right now doesn't mean that it never will," he brought Alexander's face up to his by lightly hooking his finger under the boy's chin and holding his piercingly blue eyes with his own, "It will always work out for the best. I promise."

"You make a lot of promises," Alec whispered.

"And I intend to keep every last one."

Without thinking, Magnus brushed his lips over Alexander's ever so gently causing the boy to gasp, his breath catching in his throat. He was frozen stiff until the warlock pulled away, biting his bottom lip, his eyes searching for any sign of resentment from the Shadowhunter.

Magnus swallowed. "I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to—"

"No, no. Um, it's…it's okay…" The Shadowhunter fumbled for words before taking a deep breath and casting his gaze anywhere but the warlock, "I kind of…" He suddenly sighed heavily, squeezing his eyes shut and running his hands through his tousled hair, "By the Angel, I really suck at this, don't I? I'm sorry, I just can't—"

Magnus only smiled and took Alec's hands in his own. "It's alright, Alexander. You've said the words before and I know it will happen again. It will just take some time."

A small smile played at the Shadowhunter's lips and he went happily into Magnus's welcome arms, resting his head on the warlock's strong chest. He had found out very soon how at night one of the only reasons his nightmares were ceased was this warlock's closeness and warmth. After all, they were dating, right? Alec could be in this man's arms…The warlock wanted him in his arms!

"I think you should go back to bed," Magnus said after a small moment of respite. Alec couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips. Magnus chuckled lightly, "If you want you can sit out here while I fix breakfast, but you are still recovering and recovery requires rest. We'll have a movie day, how about that? I'll even make popcorn!"

The Shadowhunter nodded and sat at the island while Magnus worked his way around the kitchen fixing breakfast. The pair spoke of meaningless things as they ate and as Magnus carried the dishes over to the sink, Alec finally spoke up of his family's sudden unavailability this morning. Magnus stiffened, not knowing how to respond once again to the boy's questions. "You said it yourself, they are Shadowhunters. They don't know how to rest. You didn't either, you know. You still struggle with the idea of it," Magnus laughed. "Even without your memory, you are a Shadowhunter, Alexander. You are still you, you know…"

The boy simply nodded, his expression fading into one of sorrow and grief at being reminded of his current state. Quickly trying to change the subject, Magnus grabbed the bowl of popcorn and offered his arm to his love, a smile lighting his face, "Shall we?"

Alexander smiled and took his arm in Magnus's. "We shall," he replied with a small smirk.

The pair walked into the bedroom and Magnus yelped when Alec leaped onto the bed. Propping himself up on his elbows, the Shadowhunter rolled his eyes, "By the Angel, Magnus, I have a concussion; I'm not made of glass!"

"I'd hardly call it a concussion," Magnus muttered. _Typical teenager_, he thought to himself as he maneuvered onto the bed and leaned against the backboard. Smirking, he went on, "I get to pick the movie since you're a reckless mess."

Alexander groaned, but did not object any further until he saw the DVD case. He fell back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. "You're kidding. The Titanic? Really?"

"Why of course! It's my favorite movie," he replied. He did enjoy the Titanic, it was a wonderful film, but in all honesty he had chosen it for the fact that it would put Alexander to sleep within the hour. He had a hope that if Alexander slept enough he would wake having regained his memory completely…He couldn't give it up yet, he just couldn't…Not that rest would hurt him by any means. He was considered an injured warrior to the Nephilim so why wouldn't he be treated as such here as well? All Magnus really wanted to do was to hold his Shadowhunter in his arms forever. That's all he wanted…

"Why don't you just shoot me? Maybe that'd be better, hm?" Alec groaned.

Magnus smirked, "I've never known you to be such a whiner, Alexander."

The Shadowhunter just shook his head before settling in to watch the movie of Magnus's choosing. It only took forty five minutes before Alexander was fast asleep. Magnus pulled him carefully into his arms and positioned them so that Alec rest on top of him while he rubbed soothing circles on his back that trailed up and down his spine and neck. Alexander's fingers curled into the fabric of the warlock's shirt and he nuzzled into his warmth. Magnus allowed himself to close his eyes and slowly drift off into a light sleep, his fingers resting on the small dip of Alec's spine, and wishing that they could dip beneath the fabric and glide along his silky smooth skin.

After about an hour or so, Alec began to whimper softly and grimace, his grip on Magnus's shirt tightening as he began to squirm. Magnus awoke and held the Shadowhunter closer stroking his hair and murmuring in his ear trying to calm the boy.

"Alec…Alexander…" Magnus whispered in his ear. The boy clung to Magnus, his breathing hitching in his throat. Magnus waited for him to breathe again, and when a considerate amount of time passed he shook Alexander, his voice sharper, "Alec!"

He gasped and hid his face in the crook of Magnus's neck, gasping for breath. The warlock hushed him and began rubbing soothing circles again while he continued to stroke his hair and murmur softly that everything was alright.

"I was falling," Alec rasped hoarsely. "I was falling and nobody was there to catch me."

Magnus tightened his grip on the boy. "Do you know where you were in the dream?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I was just…falling…I've never had a dream like that…"

"It's okay, darling," the warlock whispered, not stopping his ministrations until every muscle in Alexander's body relaxed.

A few silent minutes passed and for a moment Magnus thought the Shadowhunter to asleep once again until he spoke very quietly, his chest vibrating against Magnus's. "I don't remember falling asleep like this," he whispered, causing Magnus to blush, but not let him go.

"Well you never objected to it either," he replied wryly, expecting the boy to try and move away. Except he never did. Alec stayed put, his fingers curling back into the fabric of Magnus's shirt.

They stayed like that for hours, just lying in the comforting silence and company of the other. It wasn't until a knock came at the door that they stirred. Alec groaned softly when Magnus moved to answer the fervent knocking.

"Bloody Hell, give me a second," he muttered as he unlocked the door and removed the wards on the apartment. Opening the door, he found the pair of Shadowhunters waiting ever so impatiently. Magnus rolled his eyes, "I thought you were off running errands?"

Jace held his gaze and nodded briefly, catching on to Magnus's hint. "Can we come in?"

Magnus nodded and let them in, replacing the wards and redoing the lock on the door. Jace glanced around as he spoke, "I brought the bow. Where's Alec?"

"We've been resting in the bedroom," the warlock answered. Isabelle gave him a sly look, but Magnus shook his head answering her silent question. "I'll go get him."

When he returned with a very weary Alec trailing him, the three watched carefully for any signs of recognition to the bow in Jace's hands. Alec seemed intrigued by the object, and slowly moved to stand before his parabatai. His eyes flitted between Jace and the bow, his voice curious, "What's this?"

Jace handed it to him and smiled at the way Alec's fingers took up the bow in the correct manner. Jace had gone over most of the damages and repaired it as best he could, but he was no expert when it came to archery. That had always been Alec.

Jace watched his parabatai turn the bow over in his palms and bring it up as if to fire off an invisible arrow. As he lowered it once more a small smile toyed at the corner of his lips.

"What do you think?" Isabelle questioned.

Alec smiled and ran his hand over the bow once more, "It's beautiful. Is it for me?"

The smiles in the room faltered slightly, and Jace turned to Magnus with a grim look in his eyes, as if the light in them was no longer there, unsure of what to say. Magnus moved to stand beside him and smiled down at his Shadowhunter, "It's yours. You had it with you when you fell."

"Oh," Alec said quietly. His grip on it became suddenly tighter and he went to sit on the couch, holding it in his lap and simply staring at it almost longingly.

The three exchanged silent worried looks of disappointment. Jace suddenly sighed heavily and took the bow from Alec, standing right in front of him and making Alec jump from the sudden movement.

"Go put on some actual clothes."

"What—Why?" Alec questioned, confused.

Jace looked at Magnus but spoke to Alec. "We are going down to Alphabet City. Hurry up."

Alec scurried back into the bedroom to get dressed leaving Magnus glowering at his parabatai in a grim silence.

"What?" Jace finally asked. "It'll do him good to get out of the apartment. And this is our best shot at getting him to remember."

Magnus shook his head, "I don't like it. Not when Jonathan could be looking for him. We don't even know how he will react, let alone if it will work. What if something happens? He can't defend himself!"

"He is a Shadowhunter. He hasn't forgotten that," Jace snarled. "Now, if you want to tag along, you'd better go get dressed yourself. We're leaving in ten minutes."

Magnus kept his mouth shut and stomped his way to the bedroom with Alec. He shut the door and watched as his boyfriend swore and dove behind the bed, his shirt and pants having already been discarded leaving him only in his boxers before the warlock. With a small smile, Magnus retrieved a pair of Alec's jeans and moved to stand over him where he couldn't cower behind the mattress. He smiled fondly at the bright red flush on Alec's cheeks as he carefully took the jeans Magnus was offering.

"Really, Alexander, I thought we'd been over this. It isn't like I haven't seen you—"

Alec stood and hastily struggled into his pants, cringing at the words and holding up a hand to stop Magnus from continuing. "I know, I know! It's just…I'm not used to it yet I guess."

"I understand," Magnus nodded. He ran a gentle hand over Alexander's smooth, sculpted abs making the boy shiver. Surprisingly, however, he allowed it. Magnus met those piercing blue eyes, "If you don't want to go, Alec, we don't have to. We could stay here—"

"Hurry up!" Jace called with his usual impatience. "Let's go!"

Alec made a small look of pity before pulling on his shirt and reaching for his shoes. Magnus sighed, knowing he had already lost this battle, and began to get dressed himself. However, Jace would have to wait a little longer because Magnus Bane never went anywhere without hairspray.

**A/N: Oh, Jace… I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Reviews are lovely and appreciated!**

**Coming up next chapter: Jace keeps up with his persistent attempts to revive Alec's memory, Alec goes to the warehouse where it all happened and also gets a surprised, not welcomed visit from an old friend. So in other words: shit goes down.**

**Thanks again and until next time!**


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